Dealing with reality as it is, how do we heal this broken world?

We all have those painful empty holes in our hearts that we hide away from the world. Childhood, and especially growing up, strips away our innocence and replaces it with apathy and resentment. I started off this blog with the post about this dream I had as a child because I am at a place in my life where it feels like that darkness has put a stranglehold on my life. It feels like I've been just trying to survive through the harsh realities and compromises that I've been forced to live with. How did life turn out like this?

Well...It started with a search for truth.

For me, that means Buddhism. There were other influences - and I'll get to them later - but my first genuine steps towards recognizing the innate goodness in my soul and understanding the processes behind the scenes started with the Buddha. Can anybody relate? From there, I saw the wisdom in being in the moment, meditating, and letting things be. It was also when I began to distance myself from those around me. It was subtle at first...

wanting peace of mind. Not wanting to be brought down by other's negativity. Seeking to instruct others in "teachable moments" (which happened with less and less frequency as I became somewhat of a hermit).

Before I knew it, I had ostracized myself completely from those who I had gone to high school with. It would only be a matter of time until I did the same with those in my church. And finally, I held my family at a distance because they couldn't see me "as I really am."

It has been a long, painful journey across this united states, as well as traveling to strange and foreign lands. Half the time I had become so engrossed in 'being in the moment' that my memory stopped working, I stopped planning for the future or noticing trends that would reveal what was to come, and my emotions stopped functioning - I would just accept everything as it is.

I write this now as someone who has been forced to admit to myself that there is much I don't know. I have also begun to understand that many of the people who claimed to be guiding me did not know either. Where are they now as my world has crumbled?

I have had to figure things out for myself and to find my own truth, discovering what works and does not work in my reality. Somehow that young boy 'knew' the darkness that would ensnare my world...and I watch now as the world at large is facing the same thing. Can anyone deny that our media is hopelessly lost in the most shameful things one could imagine? Our world is suffering through the same state of mind as I am. Heartbroken. Alone. And confused.

How do we heal our hearts when the sadness seems to be neverending? How do we make a difference when there is so much sadness in this world?